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A Marble and Light

Jan.15 2009

   Three years ago I saw some pictures of beautiful kimono from early 20th century. 

   It was the time where Japanese and western cultures were blended perfectly in an unique way. Western dresses attracted girls and they started moving away from their kimono. Designers and dressmakers tried to avoid them running toward western dresses and made beautiful girlish taste kimono with a little bit of dark side, as if it melted into the chaotic society between old and new, and good and bad.

   When I saw the pictures, I felt I have to be like the girls of that time. Be strong, studious, romantic, polite, gracefully, and enjoy my life no matter how hard it is.

   I’m so happy I am Japanese and I live in Japan.

July 26

a palette of colors
 
We are like a palette of colors. We have some words to describe us well. Put all different colors to each words.
   If there is only one color on your palette, and if it's all over the palette it could be too much quality and it is strong.
 
   If you have just one color and it's just a little, it is so weak.
 
   If you have a lot of colors, it would be difficult.
 
When you draw and paint with all the colors you have, everyone can make their masterpiece. The painting is what you are. You can paint again and again till you feel satisfied. Even the one you didn't like and threw away, it is you. It was a step to the masterpiece. As we grow, we learn techniques. As we improve, we can make better one.
 
If people look at your palette they can tell what kind of character you have, but they don't really know what you are like until they see your painting. What you can express on your canvas with your color is you. Even a famous painting, not everyone gets same impression. So let's improve and make the best of it. You are just you, but if you learn to mix the colors and dilute with water people will find different side of you, or you will find a new facet of yourself.
 
 
 

July 3

At the boundary between
 
   Lately I've been thinking we, all living creatures, are the hero or heroine of their own stories. Perhaps you are in a story like a great romance novel, maybe suspense, comedy, or mystery? Probably you think it's just a non-fiction novel like biography that is written chronically. Or perhaps you don't think you are a hero at all.
 
  
   Once in a while I wake up with this strange feeling. The sense of loss. As if my soul flew to where it really belongs during the night and my body was left here in some one's incredibly complicated story. I can feel millions of things exist all around me, however I feel the wall of thin water enclosing me. I seem to look at everything through the tiny waterfall.
 
   When you look into the water you find there is another world. When you touch water your soul knows you belong to that world. Evolutionary we came out from the sea a long long time ago. I am not a fairy or a nymph that lived in the woods or flower fields, nor I am not an angel sneaked out from invisible world either. Yet sometimes I feel I have wings, or simply I feel I could fly away.
 
   I believe I am living in a fairytale. I came in to this, could be your world to learn things that I cannot gain in my world or to grow my heart, in order to close to complete my life, my soul. I have learnt lots of things in my past lives, and all the experiences I had at the times make myself and my fairytale. 
 
 
   Many stories cross one another. You have passed by a man's tale while you sat next him on the train and talked. You are peeping my fairytale by reading this. One day I would visit yours. Will you welcome me?
 
  
   I hope you will.
 

June 8

 
 
   The petals are waiting patiently in their dark rooms for many days until when the birds sing and the sun-lights knock the door to ask them to dance together. Then they stretch their body and proudly come out under the bright light.
 
   A little girl picked one flower and said "he loves me, loves me not..." as she pulled petals off a flower, Perhaps it's the prologue of a lovely story of this girl and a boy, however it is the beginning of the flower petal's adventure. Where do the petals go? When one of those petals was about to slip from her fingertips and fall down dead, the wind blew him up into the air and saved his life. Now the adventure starts.
 
   When he was on the earth he looked up the sky and drift of the clouds. He thought he was the smallest of the world. From high above the sky the petal saw the world spread down there. It seemed everything was smaller than him. As he saw the new world he gained new knowledge. Not so many of his family or relatives know about the world. When he realized the "world" he believed was just a part of a huge world, he became something more than just a petal.
 
 
   I want to fly away...
 

April 14

Warm day, warm heart  

   Even a slightest change in your heart causes a big change in your life. When you start to feel odor of spring, an affection awakes from deep sleep in your heart. It grows in the mild days of spring and when the flush of greenness and the colorful flowers bloom, the affection light up your heart. It gently shines on you by reflecting the warm lights of your love. It doesn't have sweet delightful scent and lovely figure to attract people like spring flowers but it empowers your soul and sweetness.

   In the bottom of your heart there are lots of buds of love waiting to open their petals to sing the incantation of affections. Every spring one of the affections wakes up to chant a charm for you to be more sweet and kind than previous year. However you have to look after the flowers in your heart carefully. The blizzard of sadness will freeze the flower or easily sweep the magic charm away, The torrid anger will dry up the pond and the flowers die out.

   Once I thought my heart had died, yet as if I treasured them up I sitll have the buds that has yet to shoot. Now the first flower after the blizzard is blooming proudly and singing continuously. I will nature all my love this time, and I hope in my heart it is always spring for you.

 
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